


all the voices in my mind, calling out across the night

by kay_emm_gee



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 14:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12655584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_emm_gee/pseuds/kay_emm_gee
Summary: All he hears is Nesta.





	all the voices in my mind, calling out across the night

**Author's Note:**

> This is a missing moment from somewhere in the middle of ACOMAF, after Cassian has seen Nesta while delivering the letter for the queens. And yes, this did make my heart hurt even more for them gah.

He hears her, no matter what time of day or night, what state of sobriety or inebriation. In the sparring ring over the thud and smack of fists and bodies, between the breaths he takes as he is falling asleep–he hears Nesta.

Cassian hears the bitterness of her insults, the hiss of her fury, the hitch of her breath (warningly, curiously) when he had drawn too close by the fire, the rush of her pulse as he wondered,  _she_  wondered what might happen if, if if–all of those sounds play in his mind on a constant loop.

It seems impossible. He has only seen her twice now, the first time surrounded by friends and the second surrounded only by on their own walls. Just twice, but even so she is the melody that sings him to sleep at night. It drives him mad, how much sense it makes: a warrior wouldn’t fall asleep to a lullaby, but rather the drumbeats of wrath and war. And she is that, for in each beat of her heart Cassian heard the call to arms.

He knows Nesta is a battle, will always be a battle, because she will never concede defeat–he is not even sure she would concede truce–and he would not have her any other way. But, sometimes, when he hears Feyre laugh, he wonders what it would sound like from her sister’s lips. 

 _Do you laugh, Nesta?_  He breathes out one night on the roof as he stares at the stars above.  _Have you? Do you? Will you?_

It is a dangerous question, and one he can’t bring himself to answer, not now, not when so much hangs in the balance. 

He still asks it again the next night anyways. 


End file.
